I spent the majority of my life as one of those loveable but irritating people who could eat whatever they wanted and never gain weight. I was often warned by family about how my mother gained weight in her 20's so to be careful, but I never took the warnings that seriously. I figured, I love salad and vegetables, how hard can it be? When I was 20, I was a young college student living on my own, with no drivers license or car, in a small town with no public transportation. So basically this meant that I was eating very little and walking everywhere. I was in the best shape of my life! I was a size 10, which to some may not be that small but to me it was perfect! Then I met my husband, I love to remind him that this is of course all his fault. Not really of course, but being happy and dating meant that we were going out to eat all the time, and spending our weekends indoors instead of out. I also started a job at a call center, which even though I was sitting at a desk for 8 hrs, I would still come home oddly tired. The last thing I wanted to do was come home and exercise. It was gradual at first, I barely even noticed a change. And of course when I did notice I would make excuses or tell myself it wasn't that bad. I mean there were other people who were much worse right?
I use to tell myself that if I would be mortified if I ever reached 200 pounds, that was a number that stuck in my head. As long as I was below that I was fine. Now I avoid the scale like the plague, but I know the last time I stepped on it I was 265. Right now my biggest fear is reaching 300. Scratch that, my biggest fear goes way beyond that. I have been married for nearly 5 years and during this time I have been off Birth Control for nearly 2 years. I would love to have children and although I keep telling myself that it just hasn't been the right time, I feel guilty that it is hasn't happened yet. I avoid going to a doctor to talk about it because I know that ultimately the answer is going to come down to me being overweight.
So today is the first step. I am tired of waiting, I am tired of hundreds of failed attempts at diets, and mostly I am tired of feeling like a skinny person trapped in a fat persons body. I want to feel confident again. Maybe with a little help and encouragement I can finally stop making excuses and instead get results. I am excited to try this expereince, to get my life back. I am ready to be free!