In the last week I've had three people tell me "I wish I could do what you're doing" yet show absolutely no interest in HOW I'm actually doing it.
One friend and I are "Buddha Buddies" - we go to meditation practice together on Sunday nights, talk, trade books back and forth, and so on. He started studying meditation before I did, yet I've been more successful in setting up a consistent practice. He said, "I wish I had half the willpower you have."
My Mom wants to lose weight. She's watched me maintain half of my weight loss for the past 14 years, and now she's seeing me lose the "last 20 pounds." She sees my exercise and eating habits, yet when I suggest this could be something we do together, she says "different things work for different people." Well, that's certainly true, but is what you're doing working for you?
Another friend is probably 50-70 pounds overweight. She's started exercising again, and she's trying to eat more vegetables, which is a great start. She's frustrated because the weight isn't coming off as quickly as she thinks it should. She wants me to tell her there's something wrong with her thyroid, or agree that she should drop weight quickly, but I can't. Her doctor can test her thyroid, which she is going to do, but chances are that isn't the issue. My friend thinks small, relatively easy changes should yield huge results - and she doesn't want to hear about things like the importance of weight training, working out every day, or tracking what you eat.
It all left me feeling just a little bit like Eric Cartman when he yells, "Respect my authori-tah!"
Not my authori-tah exactly, but my experience. If someone is doing what you say you want to do, wouldn't you be curious about what's working for them? Because I don't believe in willpower, or luck, or quick easy fixes. I believe in doing what you really want to do, and setting up structures that help motivate and support you when you don't have any willpower left. I believe in removing "should" from your vocabulary - do it or don't do it, but own your choices. I believe in eating real, whole foods and being active. And when I want to lose a certain amount of weight in a certain amount of time, I believe in good old fashioned cardio and weights, planning out my food, and counting calories. A stroll after dinner is fantastic, but it isn't my workout.
I don't have any answers for anyone but myself. In fact, I frequently don't even have answers for myself. But I do have a lot of experience and have learned a lot about health, fitness, and self-motivation. I'd love to be able to share that with my friends and family. But I also believe everyone is on their own path, and apparently my main job is to lead by example and support them. I can do that - I just needed to vent my inner Cartman.