Well, here we go again! I have jumped on the "diet train" again. It seems I am always on this train, it runs year round, 24/7. I jump on and reach my destination and then somehow get lost and end up at a stop that was either further than my original one or close to it. I would like a one way ticket to SUCCESS please!

Each time I get on, my plan is to never look back and to never go back to where I started. I reached my goal weight in 2013. I was so proud of myself. I worked hard, I formed the habit. I even regained the confidence in myself that I thought would never return. Then life happened. My daughter went into the hospital and nearly died. I took a management position and became married to my job. My life took a very different turn and I didn't have time.

Ok there is the problem right there..."I didn't have time". I can't truly say that. I really can't. It is true that all of those things happened. My life did become extremely stressful and much more full than it had been in years.  I didn't have the free time I had had previously.  I did however have time to sit down every night and watch General Hospital for at least 1 hour. I have had time time binge on Netflix and Hulu. So, in reality I didn't make time.

REALITY CHECK for myself: I DIDN'T MAKE TIME. I let myself go.  I allowed myself to go from the healthy size 12 that I had become back to the size 16/18 that I am now. My endurance is gone. I have developed plantar fasciitis, high cholesterol, and I get winded just walking to much or bending in the shower. What the heck happened!  I have seen what has happened to my body. I could tell my clothes weren't fitting anymore. I could feel my confidence fading. My energy levels are down and I just lack all motivation. I can try and blame my recent surgery, or my bipolar meds, or my job..but its me.  I KNOW what to do to lose it and maintain, I just havent done it.

So, here we are at the train station again.  Where will I go? Will I go forward or backward? Will I just get on the train and ride and go nowhere? I am determined this time to get to where I am going and staying there.  I have to make this change.

I want to feel better. I want to have energy. I want to look at myself in my clothes ( any clothes ) and be happy. I don't want to put on a shirt and see a roll just to feel embarrassed and put that shirt back on the hanger. I want to be healthy and not need to take Statins to lower my cholesterol.  I want to believe my husband when he tells me how beautiful I am and not just say thank you as lip service in agreeance.  I want to SUCCEED.

Here is to DAY 1 on my road to success! I will do it this time. 

"I am STRONGER than my EXCUSES!"


Note: I have never "blogged" before. This is just my way of writing down my journey. I am not sure if I am doing it right...but I am trying :) :) :)