Hello~
Lets just jump right into this. I have been overweight my entire life. Before I was fat I was fat in my head. And of course what you think about you bring about. I have always had an issue with my body, my intelligence, my wit. Always thinking I am unworthy for even God to love me. And one day in 2009 I made a decision that changed my way of looking at myself. I joined a group that was free and took me in and helped me shed 120 pounds. It was not always easy, but it was definitely worth it, because for the first time in my life I was told I look too skinny. WOW! Well I have never had much probably gaining weight. So I put a couple pounds back on and decided that I liked myself very much at 135. My starting weight was 270ish. That is a whole person off my body and out of my mind! Loved it. But something that I realized is that this program was all on me to keep going. I gave some of it up to God but for the most part I was the one working the tools and keep my abstinence. So of course I faultered. And eventually fell off. Then I got back on, then I fell off, then I got back on, then I... you guessed it fell back off. They say once you allow the door to open back to your "addiction" it is next to impossible to get it closed again. Well I disagree. I believe that I am a new creation, blessed by God to live a new life. Some things I have learned in my time on this planet, is that I am beautiful no matter what! 300 pounds, 135 pounds. I am a Mary Kay beauty consultant and I see women all over the place that think they are not pretty enough. I feel beautiful when I am 135 pounds. I want others to feel beautiful and what ever body weight they are. I feel beautiful now, but I know that when I lose this weight again and keep it off this time, it is because of God's grace and mercy that I have overcome my addiction. He has helped me say no to my flesh and I am sure He will help me again.