When I was young I did not struggle with my weight, as I was involved in basketball. After 5th grade, when I quit, I started packing on the pounds and it still continues. In high school I really struggled with my self confidence, probably as anyone does, but my struggle stemmed from my weight. During this time people would compliment me not on how beautiful, pretty, or hot (which is a term that I only found appealing to hear in high school lol). Instead, people would just say "you have such a beautiful face", or "you have such a pretty complexion" or "you have such a nice smile". Although these compliments were nice to hear, all I wanted was someone to tell me I was beautiful, not my face, or my smile, but me, the whole me, no matter how big I was/am.
I don't want this post to seem as though I am conceded or that I am bragging about these compliments, because that's the last thing I am doing. These compliments seem to instead follow me like a shadow. Now, weighing in at 265 pounds, my shadow is not small. But I am ready; I am ready to rid myself of this shadow. I finally understand that the reason I let this bother me for so long was because I didn't believe any of it. I really want to and am finally ready to put in the work. Although I hope my thoughts about myself change, I also wish that my goals for this journey of weight loss will instead turn into dreams of a healthier me.
Since my freshman year of college I have probably put on nearly fifty pounds. This challenge to lose four percent is just a start to reversing all that I have put on since middle school.
Let's do this!!!