feeling great this monday. will power is high! really hoping it stays that way! I know I am an emotional eater and drinker!  Trying to find new ways to deal with stress.  Really want to feel good about myself again. Sick of being sad that i just dont want to go anywhere or be seen anywhere.  Really sad that I had my goal once and lost it.  Living in a small town is hard when you know ppl r looking at you thinking 'boy she was looking really good and just let herself go' ugh.....almost wish i hadn't lost the weight cause the weight coming back is way more painful than never having lost it.  My selfesteem was great before I lost weight the first time but now that I know what it feels like to be called skinny.....I miss that:( wanna my kids to be proud of me.