i'm in Costa Rica and dictating this from the lobby of an all-inclusive resort. there's a man with Jerry curl playing Kenny G on a saxophone, rainbow colored disco balls glaring, and drunk tourists as far as the eye can see. I've spent the last few days over imbibing, over eating, and generally feeling like a stranger in this place. i'm incredibly relieved to do my first weigh in at the gym here and to begin some semblance of sanity amidst all this over consumption and gluttony. at first I thought taking a couple of days to go neck deep in cervezas and cheesecake would feel like a wonderful treat, but really, my body told me with every bite and beer that the dopemine was done firing for those drugs for a while. As soon as I got here, I was so ready for a change, but I ignored my body and ate the plates full of cheese anyway, like some superstitious last supper.
Tomorrow is the first full day of a six month journey for me. I enter into it with eyes wide open, expecting highs and lows, embracing supportive friends & weeding out sabotagers. (You know we all have them.) I'm looking forward to lifting weights and dancing, to taking a break from booze and sugar and cheese, and most immediately, I'm looking forward to mow'ing down at the salad bar tomorrow. The sigh of relief has come.