Treadmill accompaniement: Revolutionary Love, American Vandal, My Shy Boss
Starting weight (AM/no clothes)
10/14/17: 242
10/21/17: 237.8
10/28/17: 241
11/04/17: 235.8
11/11/17: 234.8 (with clothes)
Steps:
10/15 - 10/21: 50,020 (10,000 X1)
10/22 - 10/28: 64,141 (10,000 X6)
10/29 - 11/04: 56,605 (10,000 X3)
11/05 - 11/11:
Picture L on 10/14/2017 242 / Picture R on 11/04/2017 234.8
My first dietbet - gosh what a knuckle biter in the end! Not knowing if one's body will spontaneously weight 2 pounds heavier the next day for mysterious reasons of it's own, or if it will hold steady.
I think I can see a difference in the before/after photos, my stomach looks a bit smaller, and my....butt is, I do not know what shape my butt it trying to metamorphasize into. When I was shaving my legs, I noticed a little bump of calf muscle that wasn't there before, and my thighs feel less squishy then they did before, so those are positive things too!
This week was...the time of the month week, so I was curious and dreading to see how it would go. I struggled with being really, really tired. It might be the change in the weather, it was so much darker and colder, it makes it a little harder to get moving.
I was also the center of a very intense and hostile workplace drama between 2 departments that invoked the powers that be all the way up the chain of command. It was something that wasn't my fault, but there was an email that was a scathing denouncement of my character, that was not factual - my supervisor got it sorted out with the other department. I think in the end the other lady made herself look bad, by going over our supervisor's head instead of talking supervisor to supervisor first, which is what the powers at the top said, and she assuming a lot of things prior to verifying information.
I didn't stress eat over it, but I tend to stress sleep just as easily, so I think that was a reason for feeling extra tired. My mind is telling my body, hey, this is really unpleasant, lets check out of these feeligs for awhile.
My group of friends and I have a mutual friend visiting. And I had a really difficult time with a lot of things about this. I'm pretty introverted, and so having to hang out nights in a row, I didn't end up being to accomplish, but I was really resentful and angry a lot, like, I can't hang out, and get my exercise done, and eat healthy if I hang out. I didn't take that anger out on them, but internally I was really mad at the situation. I know I could balance a one night week social thing, but when someone is here all week, I didn't know how to make it work into not ruining all my goals.
The other piece of the puzzle, is the visiting friend is a handsome funny guy, that is also 29 to my 40. My close friends are about ten years younger, and the fact that I was crushing on visiting guy, made me feel awkward, fat, and old. Like I couldn't stop feeling so aware of these things every time I was in that group. They weren't making me feel that way, it was totally internal and me feeling that way. Like, one of these things is not like the other - and hey, it's you! You are the oldest and heaviest in this group, that's what you are. So I didn't want to hang around him, because it evoked all these unpleasant feelings that made me feel sad. Though, logically I kind of know if I was ten years younger and thin, he probably still wouldn't be in to me, because that little spark isn't there, even now.
Anyhow, I'm at the end of the week, still pretty excited that I made it to the end of my first dietbets, I'm on another one that ends on the 24th, so hoping to keep up my momentum, and live in this moment where it feels good to have accomplished something.
I had meant to work on adding more stretching and aerobic things into my life, which I hadn't, so that's still the goal, along with the cardio part of it. I think food-wise I've been doing ok, it's just fighting against cravings that pop up sometimes. I was no match for pizza night at my friends house, I do know that. I don't seem to have good will power when food is offered to me, it's more that I have to stay away entirely from where the food is at this point.