Morbidly:

adjective
1.
suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, etc.
 
2.
affected by, caused by, causing, or characteristic of disease.
 
3.
pertaining to diseased parts: morbid anatomy.
4.
gruesome; grisly.
 
 
 
That's me. Morbidly obese. 
 
If you were to ask me, off hand, if I would describe my body or lifestyle as "gruesome" or "grisly", or even as "characteristic of disease"... I probably wouldn't. 
 
In fact, using the term "morbidly obese" in reference to myself seems almost surreal. I know, for a lot of people, admitting the term to themselves is a terrifying step to self discovery, and the road to recovery; but for me, it doesn't seem to quite fit. However, by medical standards, that's where I stand. (Or sit, or occasionally balter.)
 
You see, I'm a twenty six year old woman, and I've always been large.
As a toddler, I was called chubby. (I'd "grow out of it".)
As a child, I was called big boned. (I'm 90% sure my bones are of average size.)
As a teen, I was called "fat". (Kids can be so mean, apparently.)
And now, as an adult, at times, I have even been called "thick", "curvy", "volumptous", and "well-rounded" (which is my personal least favorite, because it has a terribly creepy tone). 
 
I can't even begin to count the times I've been told "big is beautiful" and "size shouldn't matter" and "love the skin you're in". Simultaneously, I've been fat shamed, judged, and criticised.
 
What a society we live in. 
 
I'm a fairly self aware person. I'm obese. Morbidly, apparently, though I don't feel it. (I suppose that hits you a little later.) Am I curvy? Sure! I've got the hour glass figure everyone raves about. It's just got a little more sand in it than it's supposed to. Am I volumptous? I suppose. I do contain an aspectual volume. Am I well-rounded? (Shudder the phrase.) Sure. I'm pretty damn round. I've been large for so long, I've gotten used to it. I don't even really notice it any more.
 
See, I'm also strong. Intelligent. Funny. (At least, I laugh at my own jokes.) Ambitious. Empathetic. Any number of traits that have always meant more to be than the size of my body. 
 
I wouldn't say my weight has hindered me, not the way I know it hinders some people. (Not my weight, their weight. I'd like to believe my weight has never hindered anyone else.) To my benefit, my body type holds my weight very comfortably. It often surprises people when I tell them my weight. I'm dense. 
 
So why, you may ask, if I don't feel diseased, or ashamed, or hindered am I here? Because while my lovely lady lumps don't bother me, there is a distinctly unhealthy aspect to my size. It may not be affecting me mentally or socially, but my body wasn't designed to haul around all this excess. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that all this extra has caused my heart to fail, or my liver to give, or any of the other serious problems that come with being obese. Morbidly obese. They call it morbid for a reason. 
 
And with that, here I am. Challenging myself, working on making changes, and doing better.