I have lost a lot of weight. That's great. I have more support than anyone could ask for. Terrific. Here's the part they don't tell you. You have to get your mind right. I am really struggling with my mind right now. I just want this whole thing over. The thing is...it will never be over. It is going to be a process the rest of my life. I may be at my ideal weight but I will always have to be aware of what I am eating. Clearly not to the degree that I am now but it will still be there.
I am worried that all I will be able to talk about for the rest of my life is nutrition and exercise. Not that there is anything wrong with those subjects. There's not. Talking about it is the very thing that has allowed me to make the changes that I have. A simple bet turned into a now nearly 3 year journey to a healthier me. I am thankful every day for that. I have to remind myself that I have changed my life. Now I am at the point where I should be enjoying the fruits of my labor and all I can think about is the expense and time it's going to take to get rid of the excess that a healthy diet and exercise program can't. By this I mean...
Skin. Lots of skin. I am especially sensitive in the area of my arms. I used to have "guns" now I have flags. I considered liposuction and/or a brachioplasty. Still working on that but it will be awhile since neither is an inexpensive endeavor. I had already planned on needing a full body lift when I was "done" which is roughly 40 pounds from now. I am thinking that it will be best to do it all at once both for financial and mental reasons. There is a lot of stress involved when you are used to a blue collar lifestyle that frowns on "vanity". For me, it's not about vanity. It's about functionality. It hurts when I run - unless I hold everything in with some sort of compression gear. That's not to say that I am going to stop doing it but I had to find a way to make it more comfortable until I'm done. Even that was a stretch for me. They call it shapewear. I never believed in push up bras and corsets. Now I get it. While I still don't feel compelled to push the girls to the moon, the smooth lines that shapewear affords me lets me have a glimpse of what my body will look like without the skin. I have seen so much lately about being proud of the stretch marks and skin. Seriously? Those are constant reminders of an unhappy time when that skin was taught around an extra 100+ pounds of fat and what my life looked like then. Why in the hell would I want that reminder?
So I use Flexees to keep the skin in check so that I can exercise without hurting myself. I also wear it on special occasions so I can be proud of my accomplishments without seeing that lump of skin poke through my dress. If that's wrong - so be it. Until I can make permanent changes - It helps me get my mind right.
-Originally on MFP