Like most people, I know what I "need to do". When I stick to my suggested calorie range, and work out most days of the week, the scale goes down.

The problems come when I start messing with the simplicity of that formula: adding cheat DAYS or cheat WEEKENDS, I blow my deficit and the scale bounces back up. Falling out of an exercise routine after only a week or two, and my body stops progressing. Scooping out a huge CHUNK of peanut butter for my apple, but logging it and counting as only 'two tablespoons' when it is clearly more? Well, you get the idea.

All this, combined with the fact that I have already lost a lot of weight, and the fact that I have PCOS which makes losing weight harder (but NOT impossible), means that I have been on a weight *plateau* for a while...and it is frustrating.

The frustration lead to me seek advice from someone in my life whose fitness/weight journey I admire. Normally, I NEVER seek advice from others, or talk about food with anyone other than a few VERY close loved ones...I hate what I call "diet small-talk" that most women seem to do at work or at holiday gatherings:

"Oh, did you hear about so-and-so? She lost 400-billion pounds in only TWO WEEKS! I heard she is doing South Beach. And what about that one over there? She looks *too* skinny now that she went 'vegan' or whatever it's called...and me, well, I am starting the Grapefruit Diet next Monday...only 2 more weeks before I need to fit into my dress for the baby's christening!"

Ugggg...F-ing KILL ME. NOW.

I hate it. I hate it all SO HARD that it leads me never to talk with most people in my life about food, eating, or weight loss. When others notice my loss, I thank them and quickly change the subject. As a compulsive overeater with emotional issues linked to food and weight, it is just too "triggering" to listen to the unhealthy attitudes, and gimmicky fads, that most people discuss in those conversations...

But getting back to my original point: my plateau actually led me to reach out and talk to a co-worker...she is a competitive powerlifter who has lost over 100 lbs, and is very strong and healthy. She gave me some really good fitness advice (HIIT training, new strength training moves to try), but she also suggested a food plan to me that, while it sounds like it must be very effective, I am not ready or willing to attempt:

Carb Cyling.

Now, on one hand, it is not necessarily a "diet", in the sense that you are still eating REAL food...but certain foods are drastically restricted on certain days, within certain rules and boundaries.

The point of my story is: I have become VERY diet-averse. Within the 24 hours after she gave me the diet on paper, I was frantically reading articles online (some supporting the diet, some contradicting it...all seeming equally valid, because none of this can be easy, right?), searching Amazon for carb cycling books to buy, and at the end of that night, BINGING: after all, I am about to start this weird restrictive "diet" tomorrow, and I better get in all the eatin' that I can before THE RULES come crashing down on me like stone wall might crash down on Indian Jones, as he reaches back to grab his hat...

ENOUGH. STOP. NO.

No diets. No plans that cannot be followed indefinitely and PERMANENTLY. Counting calories (sometimes strictly, sometimes loosely) and eating real, healthy food, with the occasional treat thrown in for sanity? THAT I can follow long term. Committing to a diet that is so restrictive that merely READING about it triggers me to binge...well, I have learned enough about myself on this 10+ year journey of healing, health, and food, to know when something is NOT for me. For today, diets are not for me.

Carb cycling has worked AWESOMELY for my friend the powerlifter. It has also worked awesomely for some friends I have talked with here on DB, and on MyFitnessPal.

For today, I am able to accept that something can work great for others, but that does not mean that I MUST do exactly what they did. I can also accept that while I do not want to follow that CC diet TODAY, someday I might change my mind and decide that it is great for me...a week from now, a year from now, whenever, I might accept that challenge, but not today.

What I HAVE learned from reading my friend's CC instructions, and will implement:

--Cheats should be limited to a MEAL, not a whole DAY, and should be only once every week or two weeks.

--Carbs should come from veggies first, fruit second, tubers and intact grains third.

--Vary your cals and carbs daily within a range; keep the body guessing

And finally,

--Trust your gut. If reading about a diet makes you binge, there are deeper issues going on, and more self-work to be done!