My redeye flight was delayed an hour so I bought WiFi and got a free vodka tonic.
I had just transferred my SIM card to a new iPhone that morning but I still had my Android for music and some reading. I spent the plane trip drinking and studying Bulgarian split squats. My hot mess levels were surprisingly low--I had only forgotten my iPhone charger. Yet when I landed past midnight and trie to call my AirB&B contact my iPhone had mysteriously gone from 15% to zero while in the off mode. I had two phones but I couldn't make a phone call.
I found a bank of payphones only to learn that they no longer take quarters! I was trying to use my Android (which was basically a tiny computer) to connect to Skype and use that to call my contact who had the keys to the house, when I got a message from the AirB&B owner. She was supposed to be out all night celebrating her last day working for NBC and she was perilously drunk, but we were able to work out a way for me to get into the house without her being there.
The next morning I boarded a series of trains to make my final destination and see my grandmother for the weekend. She would be quite disturbed by the term "hot mess" and only puts up with my shenanigans because I'm her granddaughter. But she knows what's up. This is a woman who taught me that while meals should be sparse a lady pours khalua on her full fat ice cream.
Speaking of ice cream, grandma had four gallons of ice cream in her freezer and we took regular breaks to make sure we were eating appropriate amoutns of ice cream. For dinner we had lobster bisque, bacon & bleu cheese salad, red wine and for dessert an espresso cocktail made of cointreau, bailey's and khalua with a healthy dose of whipped cream on top. Then grandma asked me to slurp my way through her liquor cabinet to make sure everything was still fresh.
That woman had some absinthe that I am quite sure is not legal to own in the states. It was great.
The next morning I could barely walk or sit, but it wasn't from the decadance. I had made the mistake of doing Bulgarian split squats and other rigorous exercises before visiting grandma and my ass was a wreck. Grandma had a hip replaced and had only recently graduated from her the cane from her last fall. We spent the day creakily getting up and sitting down, groaning, describing our various physical therapies, and alternating between ice cream and wine.
Eventually my time was up and I had to waddle my way back home with a belly full of ice cream and legs throbbing with lactic acid. All in all, a good weekend.