It's been a long time since I took a good look at my body. I've been staring at my soul for a long while, trying to feed it with food, feeding it with distraction from the really difficult things in my life that I can't control, feeding it with drugs (the legal kind). Cause I'm afraid. Of death -- yeah, I cut to the chase pretty fast. Of destruction -- of my kids lives, of people's lives all over the world, of all the good people have built in this country. Of dyslexia -- how will my son get by?
As you may have guessed, I have a lot of anxiety. I know it drives me to bad behaviors. Part of my worry about concentrating on my body is that I'll trade my food addiction in for something that feels more harmful. But let's face it-- at 215 pounds, I am in danger. And my family is frightened for me.
So, I've taken the bet. Here I am, "coming clean." But can I make it happen?