I’ve never been more tired than I am today. Rolling over to turn off the alarm I have continually snoozed until the button no longer allowed me to abuse it, I realized that today will be a difficult day. Drained from yesterdays events and plain mentally exhausted work was the last thing I wanted to conquer.
Its 5:30 and although this may be a normal and quite acceptable time to wake up for most of you, this is my darkest hour. (Ha both literally and figuratively look at how funny I can be! Thank You Ray Bradberry). I usually wake up around 7, the sun is already up glaring through the window not allowing me to sleep much longer. I strap on my dusty running shoes, wish I had a hat to cover the curly mop that produced from the night of sleep and have an hour long conversation with myself on the treadmill ‘I can do this’. From there I don’t have to be into work until 10:00. I have a very wonderful job that gives me the freedom to work as I choose.
As you can see 5:30 is terrifying. I can already feel the excuses pile as the snooze feature on my phone allowed me to toss and turn in my sheets until I became tangled. Trying to snake my way out I finally put my feet on the floor. Its 5:45 now. I’ll either have to cut out breakfast or make-up. You can imagine that I did the healthy thing and started to make my 2 egg breakfast with one piece of wheat toast and spinach right? Ha, oh man, boy-oh-boy that’s a good one. I stepped into my bathroom and began the process that makes me feel more comfortable to walk out the door in the morning.
6:23 I had to be in the car by 6:30 if I were to make it to the very important mandatory meeting on time but hell does my hair look good today, worth it! No time for breakfast, this is the most important meal of the day… I heard myself crying… you have worked so hard to lose this weight and your so close to your goal…. I know I know stop preaching… don’t give up now!!! Too late.
Climbing into the car with the elegance of a blindfolded cat on Benadryl, my water bottle was tossed into the back seat and I hit the road. Hmm… its 6:28 and my GPS says I will be there in an hour and fifteen minutes. That gives me fifteen minutes of extra time. It’s as if my body went into autopilot as I found myself parking in the Panera Bread parking lot, the great things is that “somehow” my phone already preordered a chai latte and a bagel. Well I can’t waist the food now that’s its paid for can I?
Now it’s lunch time at work. The cliques pile out of the door two by two as if they were departing from The Ark itself following the aroma of street food. I could almost see the scent trail as if it were an old Looney Toons Cartoon. Kailey you’re tired, get something filling, you haven’t had much all day… Mexican sounds good, oooh or a burger… was that a pizza place we just pasted? Salad… I need to find a salad.
But its been such a long day, and I’m so tired and drained I deserve a reward of “good food” right? (good as in I want to eat it not that its healthy for me) My jeans, which are just starting to fit right, slide into a bright red booth. The little country diner’s air filled with fresh coffee (which was ordered immediately) my eyes darted across the menu stopping at the enchiladas and burgers… honestly I couldn’t tell you if there even was a salad section. I can tell you they had chocolate cake and breakfast all day.
And here is where I get to my point. I’ve had a long day so excuses have piled up to “justify” my bad choices. Instead of taking the few extra minutes to cook my healthy breakfast I squeeze in time to get a bagel and over sugared coffee (a 500 calorie difference). Rather than even looking for a salad at a diner I now am sitting full from a bacon cheese burger (another 500+ difference) that honestly didn’t taste that good and is giving me stomach cramps and meat sweats. (great visual huh?)
We, (I) need to stop looking at the one unpleasant contraption that just “Ruined” my day and focus on my goal. Easier said than done right? So I’m looking for ways to remind myself why I am doing this Dietbet and keep it handy. I’ve read up on some very good ideas through the feed but now I’m looking for your suggestions.
Stay strong! I will never cave to that burger again! (At least for the rest of the week!)