It's wonderful. The more I go on the treadmill, the more I feel at home there. I've tried the elliptical and the bike. Both are wonderful machines and definitely do a good job. But there's just something about the treadmill. It's really easy to get bored on it, which is a huge downfall. No matter how upbeat or catchy the playlist (lately I've been listening to the hits from the early 2000s), sometimes it is nice to switch it up. Even then, I always find myself back where I feel most comfortable.
Today, was an amazing treadmill day. With an almost empty gym, I felt like I could really be myself. By which I mean, running and lipsyncing at the same time. Maybe tapping the beat on the bar in front of me. I have to keep busy while on it, or I start to overthink what I'm doing and end up psyching myself out. Today, with an almost empty gym, I beat my records. And I got to show excitment while doing so (thrusting arms into the air and aggressively whispering "YES!").
I ran for 15 minutes straight. Something I haven't done in a long time. It wasn't just at one pace either. I kept changing it up. 3 minutes in, I wanted to stop. I wanted to just put it to a brisk walk, but I kept with it. 8 minutes and all I could think is 4 more minutes, and then I have beaten the record, and I can stop. But then I hit 12 minutes (previous record was 11 minutes). I didn't feel accomplished. I was so close to 1 mile, I just had to keep going. So I did. At 13:37 minutes, I crossed the 1 mile mark. More pride swelled in my chest, but now, I needed to push myself. So I did. That's how I got to 15 minutes.
By time I had finished my run, there was someone on the treadmill beside me. And while I was lipsyncing "Breaking The Habit" and loving Linkin Park for helping me get there, I thrust my arms into the air and a huge smile on my face. I saw the person beside me look at me, so I looked at them. They mouthed (what I think was) "good job!" to me. Damn. Someone actually noticed my excitment. This person was fit. I knew from working there that she was a regular in the gym. It felt amazing to have someone tell me good job and see me in that moment.
I'm starting to love the runs.
That's a lie. I'm starting to love post-runs. The feeling after I walk off the treadmill with a sense of pride and accomplishment.
I'm starting to feel at home at the gym again (which is good because I work there too). I look forward to going to the gym. It's fun. It's like being part of a little club. A club that accepts everyone, no matter their size or skill level. Because that size and that skill level will both change.
I'm slowly starting to not be the fat girl on the treadmill anymore.
I'm starting to be the fit girl on the treadmill.
And I hope to inspire others. :)