I wish I could say that I'm only struggling with my weight loss journey, but I'm not. I, like everyone else, have competing life challenges that slap me in the face. I am not one for excuses so it frustrates me that I've been weak these last few days because I felt like I wasn't strong enough or felt deserving, even when I know I am. I have suffered a set back and I can feel every fiber of me saying, just quit, your body isn't like others who have earned or were born with beautiful and toned bodies, maybe you are supposed to just look and feel like this.
I work out and work out and work out, I watch every calorie, and have seen some good success. So why did I allow these last few days to happen? Why do I feel so down right now? Why do I have these bumps in the road? Why is it that my mind thinks I don't deserve this? Why did I just eat that stupid bowl of sugar packed cereal that I should have thrown away, ok two bowls of cereal?
I suffered a bump in January and was able to get back on track. This time it feels a little bigger, a little harder, and a little more emotional than before, but I don't feel as though I can't overcome, but strangly I also feel like I don't want to. Today is just a bad day, one single bad day and it too shall pass.
I promise to myself that I will fight the negative visions and words that find their way in my head. I need to remember to trust in my faith, refocus, and fight like hell.
This post may come across as negative or sad. I'm simply acknowling that I'm stuggling and want to voice through this blog how I feel so that when I get to my destination of health, I'll have a journal of journey.