Frankly, I need the accountability.
I like so many others, have struggled with my weight over the years. I've weighed much less than I do now, but I've also been thirty pounds heavier than I am right now. The only times that I ever had any success was when I was in a weight loss pool at the office, or when my family offered me a significant amount of money to lose 100 pounds in a year. Which I did, and I even kept it off for another year. So mentally and physically, I know that I am capable of doing it again.
Over the summer, while on a road trip with my little brothers, we stopped in at a theme park, paid a decent chunk of change to get it, but I couldn't ride most of the rides. It was absolutely humiliating. But it wasn't enough to want to lock in and commit to doing anything about it, I do not know why.
I read all those CNN stories, once a week they post a new one about a dramatic weight loss, one thing all those stories have in common is they have a moment where they knew they had to make some changes. I've never had one of those moments, from a logical standpoint it is clear that I need to lose weight, I know this. If not being able to enjoy some rollercoasters with my brothers isn't enough to want to make a change, what is it gonna take?
I continued on with my burgers and milkshakes through out the summer, cause it was easier, and I hate cooking in my tiny poorly ventilated apartment in the summer time. Poor excuses, especially for someone who also stopped going on his daily walks cause of the heat. TSK TSK
Couple weeks back, I was on a pub crawl with some friends, one of the chaps I'd never met before was telling me about this site, told me how it worked, and I instantly saw its merit.
I signed up a few days later.
A few days after that, I would finally have that moment. I went to the beach with some friends, summer is dying out here in Oregon, and I had yet to spend any time in the sea. I came in from a cold splash in the waves, and laid down on my towel to read some Neil Gaiman. Not far off and certainly not out of my eye sight I found another fellow lovely lady sunbather, whom would go on to make smiley faces at me through out the afternoon. As she got up to leave, I complimented her on her tattoo (I am notoriously shy, so that in itself is an accomplishment), we made some brief small talk, and she began the long walk down the beach and out of my life. She lingered as she walked away, taking pictures, taking the summers final rays in, and maybe waiting for a guy to get up and introduce himself. Like I said, it was a long walk, and I watched the whole thing, frozen in fear. I shoulda ran after her, but I imagined how winded I would have been after catching up with her. I also shoulda got up and introduced myself, and asked to see the tattoo a little closer, but I couldn't get up I was not a fan of the way my body looked. I don't get a lot of chances like that, I can't keep squandering them.
I don't wanna feel that way again.
I wanna be one of those stories on CNN.