So I have lying to myself that that I am not doing so badly. I am not gaining weight, even though my jeans don't fit so I had to buy bigger ones. I am not really that fat, but when I go to cross my arms I can’t because my chest get in the way. I stopped looking in the mirror afraid to see what will be looking back.
But today no more lies. I got on the scale today, even though our official start date is upcoming, I couldn't believe the number. I knew I was over 300lbs but not almost 320. I am dyeing inside. No more lies no hiding what I am dong to myself.
I feel so alone but then again why not I have this outer self that keeps people away, but the inner crying out do something, but another day goes by and I eat the wrong thing, eat too much, and move to little.
I am so glad to join this and hope this will be the motivation to keep me on track and going all the way to the end. But to be honest I am not waiting for the weigh in to begin. I begin today, with acknowledging I am in trouble with my weight, I am not healthy, and I need to do something now and keep saying this date I start, this date I will begin, no I begin today. One step at a time, one meal at a time.
So here are some things I have done to help make sure I am successful this time:
I got an activity tracker and I am wearing it.
I have a friend, even though we aren’t close by to each other, who is doing this with me and will help me through.
I have my eyes open to what I am doing to myself and no more excuses to be made.
I have made a meal plan for the week, and even though there are cookies sitting on the counter every day of the week I promise to walk by them all this week.
I wish everyone who is doing this the best let’s all be winners.