I have gotten to a place in my life that I am a stranger to the woman in the mirror. Who is she? Where did she come from? How can I get her to leave me alone and stop reminding me that I have changed? So many things go through my head when I think about who and what I represent to my children but then I start and stop again and again when trying to go back to who I once knew. I have fallen out of love with "Me" and I want to change that. Can I change that I no longer love me? I am sure I can but it will definitely take some hard work and lots of tears. Probably as much tears and sweat will be coming from me while I make this transition in life. I want to love me and see myself as beautiful again. I feel insecure because I wear only baggy clothes when out with my family. I feel exhausted after searching through an entire closet only to find that sweats and t-shirts are my best option. I feel defeated when I go to work and wear a jacket or sweater all day because I feel that I would lose some of who I am by looking this way. I want to change, I have to change. I have to be better than today come tomorrow. I have to be better than now come later. I have to find me again and rekindle the loving relationship I had with myself years ago. I have to be happy. I see women making changes and I want just a piece of that accomplishment. Even if I lose my 4%, I have to gain that back in loving me. I am excited, nervous, scared; just pure emotional about this. Deep breaths and lets move forward.