Like a lot of folks out there, I'm an emotional eater. It doesn't really matter what the emotion is, if I feel it, I eat it! And, let me tell you...I've been on quite the emotional roller coaster this past year. Finished grad school, lost my beloved grandmother, ended a 6 year relationship, traveling every weekend for a few months, got a promotion, and I'm job searching. Seriously, when it rains- it pours for 40 days and 40 nights. And then it pours again, and then there's a tornado and a snowstorm.
As I was cleaning out my fridge to make way for all of the healthy things I'm going to buy today, I was kind of in this mood- cranky, really, about something that I just need to get over. I thought, "If only cleaning up my life were this easy!"
Seriously! What if you could just open up the emotional stores of your life (I envision mine as a fridge, of course) where all of your "emotional stuff" is, and literally THROW THINGS AWAY. Like, "Hm, what is this? oh, that hurtful thing they said to me 6 months ago? In the trash it goes!" And there it went--out to the dumpster, never to be thought of again.
I don't know about you, but that would be awesome for me! Unfortunately, for most of the things that really bug us, we can't just throw them away. Well, I'll speak for myself. I can't just throw them away. I always try to think of what I coulda, woulda, shoulda done. And, to be honest. It's not productive. At some point I had to decide to find a healthy balance between my feelings and reality. Not to say that they are always mutually exclusive, but, for someone like me who is VERY sensitive, I let my feelings take over.
When my feelings take over, one thing leads to another and I'm either overeating or not eating at all. My preferred coping mechanism is--SLEEP and BINGE. Yup, there it is.
However, there are some thigns that we just have to evaluate and toss. Kind of like when you open the tupperware container and sniff whatever it is to determine if it's something that is worth the precious space in your fridge. There are some things and people who JUST DON'T MATTER, and neither do their opinions, or feelings or anything! (Well, they don't matter to you or YOUR LIFE...i mean they matter, in general...anyway) LET IT and THEM GO! (easier said than done, i know)
But here's something I learned a long time ago: When you're upset, or sad--throw your energy into doing something positive for someone else. It works! But I lost myself. Because I was sad so often, I put my energy into making other people happy and forgot about myself.
Now, I'm trying to throw all of my energy into doing something positive FOR MYSELF. And, that includes losing this weight and eating healthy. I have a 1 year old niece and I love her more than anything. I want her to see me as the cool Aunt who can run and play with her without getting (too) tired! So I guess, in a way, I'm doing something for her and for me!
My point in writing this--well I don't know. Maybe someone else out there has the same problem. But every day is a new opportunity to clean up your eating, clean up your life, and to do something good FOR YOU! I already told you all that I'm emotional. My weightloss journey is about the numbers on the scale, but it's also about becoming my best me.