Although I'm really ready to take it to the next level, for ONCE, I don't feel like I've 'failed' at all in this journey over the holidays. As a matter of fact, I planned to give myself enough leeway that even if I ended up gaining weight by the end of December, I was okay with that, too!
I think that eased some of my "all or nothing" bullshit that always trips me up. In the past, when I had too many sugar cookies one day, I'd just say, "Well screw it. I messed up, might as well eat ALL the cookies now and just start over next week... or after the holidays." Then I'd set myself up for food binges like no other and I would actually gain ten pounds over the holidays.
This year I decided that whatever happened was okay. That I would still weigh myself daily, that I would still track my food (even on days when it was mostly sugar cookies and chocolate!) and I saw that yeah, my weight loss stalled. Yeah, I gained a little and lost a little... but in the end, I ended up at 189... pretty much one pound over what I started with before Thanksgiving!
So there was no reason to freak out and seeing that number on the scale every day was enough to show me that I *didn't* gain 5 pounds overnight, even after a bad day... and somehow, in my weird brain, that was good enough.
I kept things fairly stable, although I ate wayyyyy too much sugar and messed up my sleep and gave myself headaches... but apparently I eat when I'm stressed. Life goes on.
Today I started a "Diet Bet" and I'm REALLY not sure if this will be a good thing or not. Sometimes challenges really help me, but other times they make progress even harder. I'm not going to let this trip up my mental state over weight loss... but maybe it will encourage me to finally start doing more exercise. Wish me luck!