Whew! Here we go again.
Due to error in my own body knowledge, I came in as a runner up on my last DB. To say it was frustrating would be fairly accurate. I wasn't terrible upset, but it was very discouraging since 6 hours after it ended I weighed myself and was 1.5lbs under the goal.
Thank you hormones. You owe me. *shakes fist*
After I finish a DB, I find that I'm pretty resistant (aka scared) to ever weigh myself again. I work so hard for a month to loose that weight, that the thought of gaining any of it back is surprisingly distressing. I suspect that is something I should really work on. Being petrified of weight gain can proooobably lead to some unhealthy thought patterns (i.e. anorexia and such).
It's been a little over a month since the end of my last DB. While I've tried to watch what I eat and my activity, mostly what I've watched is stuff like cookies and crap going into my mouth, and excuses to not be very active.
On a side note, fall is beautiful, but not when it's only 40-something degrees out. Gross. I am so not looking forward to winter.
As a result, it took a lot in me to buckle down, put on my big girl pants, and decide to do another bet. Taking a deep breath, I stepped on the scale to find that YAY! I'd only put 2 lbs back on. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back is still progress. As long as that line just keeps on going down, I'll be happy.
Self evaluation time:
In March I started my first DB. I weighed in at 170.2. I'm fairly certain that is the HIGHEST I have ever been in my life and I was not digging the fact that I was wearing a size 16 jeans and XL shirts. That bet ended with me at 162.4, 1 lb below my goal. WINNER!
My next DB started in June. I weighed in at 168.4, only 2 lbs below my last DB start which was just...ugh. I worked really hard at it though, and my final weight was 159.8, almost 2 lbs below goal! My 16's were getting baggy on my. Belts were required.
My 3rd DB started in Aug. I weighed in at 160.8, having only put on 1 lb in a month off. Not too bad in my opionion. However, due to poor understanding of my own body, 2 weeks into the bet and I had a mere 1.5 lbs to loose. I totally had this. 1 week before the bet, I HAD 5LBS TO LOSE! What the what?! HORMONES! You hath betrayed me!!! 5 days before bet end: 5.2 lbs to loose. Day of bet end: .4 oz. to loose. 6 hours after bet end -.5. Because biology. Thanks body.
In all honesty I wasn't horribly upset. I was still about 6 lbs. down. I was more upset that I lost my money's, truth be told. However, the loss plus life getting a bit crazy made me decide to take a break again. I had intended to actually hold off till the new year because we all know how insane the holidays start to get. However, I live half a country from my family, and last time they saw me was July and I was around 160. We are planning to see them again at Christmas and I really wanted to wow them. I'm currently down to a size 12 jeans, and honestly even those are getting a liiiiittle big and I'm comfortably wearing a size L shirt now.
Today I start DB 4. I'm weighting in at 156.8, having put on 2 lbs in the last month because SUGAR! OM NOM NOM!! Still, I can see and feel the difference 13.4 lbs makes. I feel more confident and happier with my body. My current goal is 130 lbs, with muscle. BMI says I have gone from 'obese' to 'overweight'. At 130 I will be in the upper part of healthy and that makes me happy. However, I'm not terribly hung up on BMI considering it doesn't take muscle mass into account, I don't think. Regardless, I use it as a general guideline right now. At 130 I will celebrate, and then decide if I want to go any lower. In H.S. I tended to hover around the 115 range. For my height, that puts me around the middle of healthy for my BMI, but if I look sickly thin, well, ew. Also, I've had 3 kids since then, so there's that.
In closing, I've said in the past that my true aim is, "Do those pants that I've had in the storage bin fit?". I'm not really hung up on the numbers, but on the health factor. Heart issues run in my family, and I have 3 kids. I want them to see healthy, and be healthy, and I can't really do that if I myself can't even jog down the driveway w/o getting winded. So, here we go with round 4. Baby steps, baby steps.
I can do this. Look how far I've come already.