What am I going to do? I am so AFRAID!

You are never too far gone to do this. I'm over 40 and been chubby most of my life. I'm not making huge leaps but I'm making tiny hops and they all add up in the big scheme of things. I've dieted my entire life only to fail. Failure is not an option now, I can do this. Just make a small change for the first week or so, then add another then another. You don't have to make the huge leap all at once, but don't give up. We all falter, we are not perfect. Best of luck!