Today, I struggle.  The idea of salad for lunch is appalling, and Zumba?  Ugh!  Zumba has kicked my butt the past two days.  My feet feel as though they've been crushed by an elephant; my back feels like there is a knife sticking out of the side.  I turn just the right way and I lose my breath.  Sleeping was a challenge last night as I could not find a position that would baby the effects of my Zumba escapades.  


I crave carbs.  Pasta, bread, bread, and some more bread.  And peanut butter has never sounded so good - anything to satisfy this "need" that my body (or perhaps my mind) has.  I look in the mirror and I see every reason to stick with this journey to find health, but the double chin, belly rolls and thunder thighs don't seem to matter when it comes to battling the life style of junk food and enormous portions that I have grown so accostomed to.  


I just fed my 1 year old a peanut butter sandwich.  I must be honest and admit that I did eat a spoonful (or two) of the peanut butter, and slathered a couple of crackers with peanut butter to snack on...  But that's where it stops.  I sit here on the couch now, avoiding the refrigerator.  I really, really do not want that salad with grilled chicken.  It seems I would rather "starve" than eat the healthy choice.  So, I sit and avoid the refrigerator until I can wrap my head around eating something acceptable.  My eating may not always been PERFECT, but it is leaps and bounds better than how I ate in the past.


I can stay committed to the eating healthy thing.  But today, I think Zumba is going to take a back seat.  And I'm going to be ok with that.  I do have swimming lessons with my daughter this afternoon.  Not high intensity, but it certainly beats sitting on the couch.  And perhaps I'll take a bike ride with my 3 year old.  

Zumba, I'll see you again tomorrow.