Last night, as I sat at my computer signing up for this, my hubby was sitting next to me at his computer and I announced,
"Honey, I'm spedning $30! This site has contests that a bunch of people put money into, and they diet, and if you loose at least 4% of your body weight, you get your money, and maybe even more, back!"
He smiled and nodded and said, "Alright then. You know I'm going to harrass you to make sure you're doing what you're supposed to, right?"
To which I replied,
"You better."
For dinner last night, we had pulled pork and french fries. He looked at me skeptically and in defense I told him the contest didn't start till the 10th and we had to use up all the not so great food in the house (like french fries) because none of it was coming back after that. I wasn't about to waste food!
Since then, I have found my mind rather preoccupied with various food related things. To say this contest isn't a Big Deal in my life right now, would be a Big Lie. I had a root beer float last night; something I haven't had in ages because I pretty much steer clear of pop unless I'm at a restaurant. I thought about the chips in the cupboard. I went to bed last night, thinking of what I was going to plan for meals from the 10th on that would be as healthy as possible. I had another pecan caramel roll this morning (hey..it's a 6 pack and I'm not tossing it) and contemplated it being, apparently, MY LAST PECAN CARAMEL ROLL EVER.
This all, of course, was utter rubbish.
Being healthy doesn't mean you only eat healthy foods all the time. It means you eat the not-so-healthy stuff in moderation. A pecan caramel roll once a week is not going to make me inflate 10 lbs if I'm exercising and eating healthier the rest of the time. A slice of pizza isn't going to make my jean size jump 2 sizes if I'm walking 30 minutes a day. These are the things I have to focus on. Sure the 4 weeks of this might be a little rough. I really want to make sure I hit that 4%, so I might be more restrictive than neccessary, were I healthier and not doing a contest.
It's clear to see that food is a pretty major part of my life. I love food. I love new foods and old foods and exotic foods and comfort foods. It's a wonder I'm not 266 instead of 166. Maybe I do have a bit of self restraint after all. Regardless, this has been a concern of mine for years now, but I've never admitted to myself that maybe it's a problem. I'm an emotional eater. Stressed? Gimme chocolate. Bored? I'll take a bag of chips. Celebrating? Lets have ice cream! Sad? Bring on whatever, I'll eat it. I'm not at all happy with how I look or feel. I mean, as I said before, it's not bad, but I know it can be better. In addition, there are heart problems in my family. I'm only 36. I don't want to go into my 40's flabby, out of shape, overweight, and struggling to walk a block without seeing stars. I have kids who need me for the NEXT 40 years and a hubby to see the world with. If I don't get my act together, it's only going to get way worse with the big M starts kicking in.
Ugh. Why is life so haaaard?