It is official. I am crazy. I have been packing on the pounds since September and I am at my wits end.
I have been fat all of my life save the periods when a ungodly effort have helped me slim down to a more normal size.It has always been like that. A time of relative tranquility as the weight comes off followed by agonizing months when the pounds and my waist came inching back. I really thought that I could own, more or less, whenever I wanted, but I couldn't get it in gear this time. It as I call it is that magic moment for me. I am eating, getting fat, agonizing, and then one morning my diet begins. I don't know what to call it other than IT.
I finally decided to see my family doctor. I dread going to this guy because he is long and lean, he is a marathon runner. Go see him I told myself. When you go back for a checkup he is only going to talk to you about losing a few - dozen - again. Be proactive this time and tell him that you are in trouble.
So I did. Went to the doc. He listened and then set me up for an appointment with a therapist. WTF?
So I met with a Cognitive behavior therapist named Molly.
Do you keep eating when you are full? - Yes I said.
How often do you feel hungry? - About 4 months ago.
Ever sneak eat? - You mean like the selection of candy bars that I get out of my car after everyone is asleep?
Do you purge? - Good lord no!
How often do you think about food? - You mean other than all the time?
Do you have any unusual stress in your life? - You mean like a wife who is killing herself with wine and caring for our daughter's 6 yr old while she sorts out her stuff?
Then she hit me with the big one.Apparently I am afflicted with BED. Never heard of it said I. BINGE EATING DISORDER she repeated. Pending more tests that's what I sound like. To me it sounded like, Blah, blah, blah....you are crazy. So, after having a week to get used to the idea I am beginning to adapt. I am taking a drug called Vyvanse which is supposed to help. They treat ADHD patients with this drug. And then there is the therapy which starts next week. I'd like to say that it doesn't get any better than this, but of course it does and I hope it will.