I have never been a warrior. I am not going to pretend that I ever was. I have always been more of a fluffy friend, the sidelined person who would cheer the crap out of my friends while secretly thinking "I can do that!" But not getting out there and trying myself.

Now I am at the point where I still think that, but then I'm followed with the memories of every time I've tried to be a warrior. I take gigantic leaps:

I throw out all the bad food. Okay, most of it. Half. Okay, the ramen noodles and maybe I keep one for emergencies. We all have ramen-emergencies, right?

I start running. And then stop. And start. And stop and bend over in the middle of the sidewalk out of breath, clutching my chest and tasting metallic in my mouth. Since it's usually cold when I make this resolution, my body is freezing and my chest retaliates against the harsh, frigid air. So I return home and resolve to run again when I can breathe after a few days. Err... weeks. OKAY! …MONTHS.

I make 4,000 resolutions, and map it all out. I plan my diet, my workouts, my budget, my clothes, and everything in between. I detail when I will go to bed, my morning routine, and every single minute of every day. I think, THIS TIME I will be organized, efficient, and simply excellent when it comes to living well. I well get stuff DONE.

And then I get tired. I'm not talking about a little worn out from planning. I'm talking about going home, eating half a pizza, curling up in bed with my kitty, boyfriend, and Facebook app, and shutting the world out to the tune of a mindless Netflix marathon while I pretend I didn't just spend more time planning than I would have spent making a salad and working out with my Bob Harper DVD.

I don't go from fluffy to warrior. There is no moderate beast mode for me. I go from fluffy to PLAN-TASMIC to leave-me-alone-this-is-too-much-to-think-about. It's a spectrum with no middle ground.

I just did the same thing last week!

If you're following along, last week before I went on a mini stay-cation from work I planned like a fiend and then went home, decluttered, watched the ball drop, took some naps, cooked like crazy(seriously like 10 recipes in a day) and did the laundry. I managed to charge my Fitbit and put it on, but that's about as good as it got.

My first DietBet of the year (the Powells!) started today and I WANT to work out, really, I do! But all the planning of the last week has already gotten to me and I'm in Netflix mode.

So I'm trying a new approach. I'm keeping my goals in mind: "Healthy and Wealthy 2015." I am going to be conscious of what I eat, what I spend, and my ratio of sitting at my desk job to getting up and walking every 60 minutes. I am going to go home after work today and do some squats and a plank before dinner, and my lunch break today will grant me at least a 15 minute walk.


I am an excellent planner. I am not an excellent follow-through-er.

But I am a warrior. I just have to find a happy medium. A day-by-day warrior approach, if you will. And if that means that after my warrior days at work, eating fairly well, clenching my butt muscles at my desk job, and not spending beyond my means, I go home and fall into fluffy-Netflix-binging-me (without the actual food binging), I'm okay with that.