So I have really been focused on the moment.  Trying not to look past today and doing my best I can everyday right now.  I haven't been looking at the big pictures, because when I do I feel defeated already. So I have set very small realistic goals.  I have a check sheet on my door that each night before I go to bed I check off if I kept my promise to myself for that day.  I circle the days I have not.  So far the checks are out winning the circle by a landslide.  It is good to see  I have 4 days left in the Chris and Heidi challenge the end is so close.  I joined the Ali challenge this week, overlapping a week so that I would keep myself on track for the month of Februay.  I need to add to my check sheet another 3 weeks so I can see the count down. It is easy to stick to something for a short period of time.  We have all done that.  Stay on track for a day or maybe a week but then slide back to our old shelves and just give up, just to start all over again a few months and sometimes years latter.  Well this time that isn't enough for me.  I want to go longer I don't want to give up before I am finished, before I reach my ultimate goal.

I struggled today when I got home from work  I was pumped all day until I walked in the door and just lost steam.  I had to really push myself to get my 10,000 steps in today.  Usually when I start my work out the energy kicks in and I push myself a little further and just a little longer.  Today when my band did it's little happy dance on my wrist to let me know I made my goal I so wanted to stop.  I did push a little further, not much, not like usual because it just isn't there.  But I did push.  I finished walking in place to the song that was on.

I know tomorrow will be different, and that this is a minor struggles coming from where I was almost 4 weeks ago.  But I wanted to share, even when you don't feel like it, when you just want to give up, throw in the towel,  just push a little further.  You will make yourself proud that you did it, and do you really want to go to bed anymore saying I didn't do enough today.  I didn't do my best.  Do I want to get back on the roll a coaster of yo-yo dieting?  Isn't it enough beating yourself up because you just can't make yourself do it.  Well you can.  I know for a fact you can, because I did.  I haven't gone to bed in the last 4 weeks wishing I would have done more, hadn't eaten this or that, or why didn't I just get up and walk for 5 minitues today.  

Sometimes we have to push through the struggle, over come our negative thinking and just do it.  I am proud of the work I put in, I have plenty more to do before I reach the ultimate goal, but for today I can say I did do my best, because some days our best is just a little less than usual.  It's okay I pushed so I can say to myself today was a day I can honestly say I did enough.