When I started DietBet this week, I stopped drinking wine.  I figured my body would lose weight faster and I'd be more motivated to exercise.  I have only exercised a tiny bit this week but I have eaten under 1600 calories a day and consumed at least 64 ounces of water a day.  I have lost 3 1/2 - 4 pounds so far and it hasn't been a week yet.  

Last night I decided that since I had so many calories left, that I'd allow myself a large glass of wine.  Now, I love a nice glass of wine.  But last night, I tried a glass from a bottle of wine that I know is one of my favorites and it didn't taste very good to me.  I thought, funny.... and drank it any way.  Mindlessly.  Enjoying the thought of my glass of wine, but not really enjoying the taste of it.  Wine, I thought, we've been through a lot.  Kids, divorce, breast cancer, kidney surgery, parents aging, sons growing up and leaving, three new jobs, etc. etc. etc.  We all could go on and on.  Life happens.  Wine was part of it for me.  My crutch.  It has also helped me to pile on all of these pounds.  Wine has calories.  Wine makes you mindlessly eat a lot of crap you would never have otherwise consumed.  

So today, after having only had one large glass of wine... no not a bottle sized glass, really just an 8oz. pour... anyway, I found that it was more difficult to wake up.  I had to drag myself out of bed, when earlier this week I was able to pop out of bed.  I got on the scale and my weight, though I didn't go over calories, had crept up 1/2 pound.  I felt swollen.  My joints.  My face.  Ick.  I got to work and felt a slight headache.  Ick.  It wasn't a crisis.  It was just the realization that I'd spent the past 5-6 days detoxing, not realizing that was what I was doing.  I missed it.  That clean feeling.  I felt that I had cheated myself out of feeling 100%.  I felt sorry for me.  But, I can fix this.  It's not weigh in time yet.  I haven't gained the 4 pounds I was down.  I just had a hiccup, which I will continue to have over my journey to lose 80 pounds.  

What I figured out is that I can, if I listen, hear my body talking to me.  It is asking me, pleading with me to keep listening.  It wants me to feel better.  

This weekend I intend to start exercising.  I know my body will scream at me because it is a very foreign thing for it.  I also remember a time not so very long ago when it thanked me for taking a 2 hour walk or a 20 mile bike ride.  I want to get back there.  I will, will get back to that place.  I miss feeling that way.  


TGIF everyone.  :-)